Cathy: Weel it was a hard moment because I was his favorite and I really hasn't a good relationship with my mom.
It is natural that a person dies but I was really sad because I couldn't even say good bye or the last I love you. It happen so quickly that my family depended on him and it was the begining of my the chain of my worst nightmare, not only for me also because we would have to make serious decisions.
I was in shock, so I couldn't see the reality of the situation and I was thinking of all the things we had to sacrifice and beg for food.
(2)I: Do you think that your mother, at the begining, did the correct thing?
Cathy: I think that any mother would have done the same thing. She was used on living on my fathers money so she didn't have anything and didn't know how to work. So, as a consequence se obted for a difficult way, that was calling her money and returning begging for forgiveness for marrying his cousin. I think she had to put aside her pride for us, but I really wish that it hadn't gone that way, she could have at least look for a job or doing anything than coming into a house that will end our lives.
(3)I: When you guys first came into yor grandparents' house, what did you feel?
Cathy: I felt like if I was put aside and all the priority now was to take money and the forgiveness from our grandfather and the all this end. But when I put a foot in that door I let my greed dominate over me and I was blind in all the bu/$h!# (sorry, haha) my mother has told us. But who won't believe to their mom at that age?At that age you believe that your mom is an angel and your father is another one. At that age you think that the first person in doing the right thing are your parents, although, their are human beans and make mistakes, but who would have thought that it will end whit the life of one of her own child .
(4)I: What was the first impresion that you took when you found out that you had to live hidden in the attic? How was your lives inside there?
Cathy: I believe it was the worst thing they had ever done to us, but who would have think that their mother has become the bad guy and all that she wanted was the money form his father. I first thought that I would have done anything, even living in an attic just to see my mother happy but it wasn't like I have imagined. First we were hidden for more than three years! would you imagine living there without sun, without playing, you making the role of mother to your sibilings. Finally, it wasn't what we expected, it was a lot worse.
We had to survive like primitives, my oldest brother and I were becoming teenagers and we had needs, so we let our senses domined and we both did the unexpected. (crying).
(5)I: What did you think when you found out that your granfather didn't know about the existance of his four grandsons?
Cathy: I felt like an animal. I felt that instead of having a grandpa telling you stories and holding you into his legs, we had to gain his trust after the forgiveness. I wish none of this had happen, my parents should have introduce him years ago and if first he didn't approve at least he did know about us. But hiding just because a horrible man think that we must be demons it make me sick that anyone could have the power to discrimanate that way. I was jus thinking in waking up and open my eyes and wake up into my fathers arms and find out it was just a horrible nightmare. But it wasn't so I had to did the best of myself on gaining his acceptance even though my mom didn't even planed to introduce us just because it would have been worse to forgiveness situation.
(6)I: What do you think of fanatism to church, like your grandmother was?
Cathy: I believe that fanatism is worse that not believing in nothing because you live obsessed with God and in avoiding making sins that you feel tempted to do it. You do enjoy life living worried about all the things that are said in the bible and you don't let other to do what they want, like my grandmother did. We first were normal sibilings, and she started telling us that we couldn't dress up in front of your brother because it was a sin. We were so innocent (Sigh)! the temptation was incrising while she was telling us not to do that not to do this. She was making us live obsessed and not enjoying what we love the most, our childhood. It was really hard not to be influenced by her fanatic thoughts, that we kept day and night in doing the good thing and avoiding the bad thing.
(7)I: Will you forgive your mother one day for what she has done? What would you tell her?
Cathy:After this experience I am only sure of to things in my life. I will never have sex with my brother again and I will never forgive my mom to what she did to us. We had the chance to see her continuing changing, the greed, the negligence and lack of love. She became into a monster we have never seen before, she was trying to get rid of us and marry a rich guy and live happily ever after. I don't know exactly who was the one that killed my little brother with poisoned food, but I think she was aware of that and did nothing to avoid it or belived that it was the perfect solution for her... killing the annoying children in the attic just to be closer of my grandfather's inheritance.
(8)I: Who was the final guilty for all the nightmares that you lived inside that attic?
(Hunger, death...)
Cathy: Like I've said before, I think it was a combination of my mother and my grandmother. But the most guilty was my mother because she let anything happen to all of us inside the attic. She was BLIND. Even though I'm not capable of thinking that a mother could have ever done that, I believe that people change for money or other circumstances.
I can only say that I don't wish to anyone, even my worst enemy, to live what we did inside that close space. It was the end of our lives and of our childhood, because Chris and I kept thinking on the wellbeing of my little sibilings. We were not anymore what we used to be.
(9)I: What would you have done differentely inside the attic?
Cathy:When you think in the past, for a moment, you wish anything of this would happen. But when I see it from the concience, I think I did my best to keep the family that was left together. The only thing I would change is the death of my brother, D@m# (crying). But I thinkg this doesn't answer your question because I couldn't have done anything different to prevent his death, because, as I said, you will never imagine in someone doing that.
Maybe not having sex with your brother if that's what you mean.
(10)I: What did you learn from this whole expierence?
Cathy: I learned many things. One of them is that you have to persuade your dreams even if you think is impossible as I did, but we kept dreaming and we get to ran away from all that nightmare. If you stay together as a family you can turn out with wonderful solutions and giving away love when you more need i. Is the only way out.
I learned that if thing don't result as you imagined, keep going because if you keep thinking in that you will lose an opportunity to make it up or at least forget it and continue with your life.
It is natural that a person dies but I was really sad because I couldn't even say good bye or the last I love you. It happen so quickly that my family depended on him and it was the begining of my the chain of my worst nightmare, not only for me also because we would have to make serious decisions.
I was in shock, so I couldn't see the reality of the situation and I was thinking of all the things we had to sacrifice and beg for food.
(2)I: Do you think that your mother, at the begining, did the correct thing?
Cathy: I think that any mother would have done the same thing. She was used on living on my fathers money so she didn't have anything and didn't know how to work. So, as a consequence se obted for a difficult way, that was calling her money and returning begging for forgiveness for marrying his cousin. I think she had to put aside her pride for us, but I really wish that it hadn't gone that way, she could have at least look for a job or doing anything than coming into a house that will end our lives.
(3)I: When you guys first came into yor grandparents' house, what did you feel?
Cathy: I felt like if I was put aside and all the priority now was to take money and the forgiveness from our grandfather and the all this end. But when I put a foot in that door I let my greed dominate over me and I was blind in all the bu/$h!# (sorry, haha) my mother has told us. But who won't believe to their mom at that age?At that age you believe that your mom is an angel and your father is another one. At that age you think that the first person in doing the right thing are your parents, although, their are human beans and make mistakes, but who would have thought that it will end whit the life of one of her own child .
(4)I: What was the first impresion that you took when you found out that you had to live hidden in the attic? How was your lives inside there?
Cathy: I believe it was the worst thing they had ever done to us, but who would have think that their mother has become the bad guy and all that she wanted was the money form his father. I first thought that I would have done anything, even living in an attic just to see my mother happy but it wasn't like I have imagined. First we were hidden for more than three years! would you imagine living there without sun, without playing, you making the role of mother to your sibilings. Finally, it wasn't what we expected, it was a lot worse.
We had to survive like primitives, my oldest brother and I were becoming teenagers and we had needs, so we let our senses domined and we both did the unexpected. (crying).
(5)I: What did you think when you found out that your granfather didn't know about the existance of his four grandsons?
Cathy: I felt like an animal. I felt that instead of having a grandpa telling you stories and holding you into his legs, we had to gain his trust after the forgiveness. I wish none of this had happen, my parents should have introduce him years ago and if first he didn't approve at least he did know about us. But hiding just because a horrible man think that we must be demons it make me sick that anyone could have the power to discrimanate that way. I was jus thinking in waking up and open my eyes and wake up into my fathers arms and find out it was just a horrible nightmare. But it wasn't so I had to did the best of myself on gaining his acceptance even though my mom didn't even planed to introduce us just because it would have been worse to forgiveness situation.
(6)I: What do you think of fanatism to church, like your grandmother was?
Cathy: I believe that fanatism is worse that not believing in nothing because you live obsessed with God and in avoiding making sins that you feel tempted to do it. You do enjoy life living worried about all the things that are said in the bible and you don't let other to do what they want, like my grandmother did. We first were normal sibilings, and she started telling us that we couldn't dress up in front of your brother because it was a sin. We were so innocent (Sigh)! the temptation was incrising while she was telling us not to do that not to do this. She was making us live obsessed and not enjoying what we love the most, our childhood. It was really hard not to be influenced by her fanatic thoughts, that we kept day and night in doing the good thing and avoiding the bad thing.
(7)I: Will you forgive your mother one day for what she has done? What would you tell her?
Cathy:After this experience I am only sure of to things in my life. I will never have sex with my brother again and I will never forgive my mom to what she did to us. We had the chance to see her continuing changing, the greed, the negligence and lack of love. She became into a monster we have never seen before, she was trying to get rid of us and marry a rich guy and live happily ever after. I don't know exactly who was the one that killed my little brother with poisoned food, but I think she was aware of that and did nothing to avoid it or belived that it was the perfect solution for her... killing the annoying children in the attic just to be closer of my grandfather's inheritance.
(8)I: Who was the final guilty for all the nightmares that you lived inside that attic?
(Hunger, death...)
Cathy: Like I've said before, I think it was a combination of my mother and my grandmother. But the most guilty was my mother because she let anything happen to all of us inside the attic. She was BLIND. Even though I'm not capable of thinking that a mother could have ever done that, I believe that people change for money or other circumstances.
I can only say that I don't wish to anyone, even my worst enemy, to live what we did inside that close space. It was the end of our lives and of our childhood, because Chris and I kept thinking on the wellbeing of my little sibilings. We were not anymore what we used to be.
(9)I: What would you have done differentely inside the attic?
Cathy:When you think in the past, for a moment, you wish anything of this would happen. But when I see it from the concience, I think I did my best to keep the family that was left together. The only thing I would change is the death of my brother, D@m# (crying). But I thinkg this doesn't answer your question because I couldn't have done anything different to prevent his death, because, as I said, you will never imagine in someone doing that.
Maybe not having sex with your brother if that's what you mean.
(10)I: What did you learn from this whole expierence?
Cathy: I learned many things. One of them is that you have to persuade your dreams even if you think is impossible as I did, but we kept dreaming and we get to ran away from all that nightmare. If you stay together as a family you can turn out with wonderful solutions and giving away love when you more need i. Is the only way out.
I learned that if thing don't result as you imagined, keep going because if you keep thinking in that you will lose an opportunity to make it up or at least forget it and continue with your life.
